


Chartreuse

by autumn_daisies



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Blind Character, Blindness, Fluff, Homophobia, Hyunjin is an artist, Jeongin is blind, Jisung is a good/bad friend, M/M, Slurs, never actually say it but they talk about them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 23:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17131097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumn_daisies/pseuds/autumn_daisies
Summary: Hyunjin, the new kid, is an artist and a dancer. On top of that, he's absolutely gorgeous, as Jeongin has been told.Jeongin's legally blind, and all he sees of anything is blurred splotches of color.Despite having little in common, a chartreuse form manages to invade Jeongin's limited vision again and again.





	Chartreuse

  
  "You aren't blind, Jeongin."

  That seemed to be everyone's favorite thing to say to him. He wanted them to say that to the nondescript blobs of color that filled his vision whenever he bothered to use it and see exactly how much information they could glean from them. Frankly, his eyes were closed most of the time he had to pay attention to something, because the blurriness was extremely distracting. Though he was criticized for sleeping in class often by teachers who forgot his condition. That was always a fun one.

  Jeongin hadn't always been blind, but he couldn't really be bothered to miss what he had. His life wasn't a sob story.

  "You aren't blind, Jeongin."

  "Oh really? Well, let me try to see how many fingers you're holding up," he sassed back.

  Chan shook his head. He knew Jeongin would just see a vaguely skin-colored shape if he was able to distinguish it from the light in the cafeteria at all.

  "Plus, I'm legally blind. I don't care if I can technically see stuff."

  Chan sighed and Jeongin heard him start chewing his food again. He did the same. He saw movement as a figure dressed in light colors sat down beside him. "Jeonginnie! You're wearing your glasses again?"

  Jeongin reached out to touch Seungmin's face. "So are you," he observed, feeling the cold metal under his fingers. "We know they don't do you any good either. I'm not blind to fashion, Seungmin."

  "Sassy today, aren't we?" he asked, not a hint of malice in his tone. Seungmin poked him teasingly in the arm. Jeongin grumbled in discontent.

  He saw another figure approach the table. This one caught his attention, as it was wearing extremely light colored clothes, and what looked to be a sweatshirt in a ridiculous neon chartreuse. From the slight metallic jangle when they moved, he figured they were wearing overalls. He spoke and he sounded extremely nervous. "Hey, you're Seungmin, right? From Chemistry?"

  "That's me," he replied. "Hyunjin?"

  Hyunjin's tone lightened. "Yeah!"

  "Do you want to sit with us?"

  Hyunjin sat. Jeongin tried to focus on eating. The less he talked, the less likely Hyunjin was to ask him questions about how he was the resident blind kid.

  "I'm Chan! I'm a senior. And this is Jeonginnie!"

  Jeongin spared a glance up towards Hyunjin's eye-bleeding mass and grimaced. "Yang Jeongin. Hi." He looked into Hyunjin's eyes as best as he could manage.

   Hyunjin smiled, Jeongin hoped, and Jeongin resumed to eating his lunch. He listened as everyone else talked about school and where Hyunjin was from and what is favorite class was so far.

  "Art!" he answered enthusiastically.

  Jeongin felt Seungmin elbow him as he rolled his eyes.

  "Sorry," Jeongin said. "It's just that everyone's favorite subject is art, you know?" He was actively avoiding mentioning the critical thing that kept him from enjoying art.

  Hyunjin laughed a little. It was melodic, almost. "Well, then, what's your favorite class?"

  Jeongin cursed himself for his answer. "Choir."

  "Is that not common, also?"

  Jeongin felt his face turn some color of red as he focused back on his lunch.

  As lunch came to an end, Chan grabbed Jeongin's trash and threw it away from him. He always did that, because Jeongin really didn't like walking anywhere alone due to his extremely limited vision, and he rather Chan do it himself than lead him across them cafeteria like a lost puppy. His friends were extremely accommodating of his condition, really. He was reminded of this as he saw a bright red mass approaching him. "Jeongin!"

  Jisung always wore that really bright sweatshirt when he went to see Jeongin. He claimed it was so he could easily recognize him, and it worked, but Jisung's voice and actions really would be loud enough identifiers alone. Jeongin still appreciated it. "Jisung, where were you?" Chan asked.

  "Sleeping!"

  "Where?" Jeongin asked.

  "In History, where else?"

  "During your lunch period?"

  "Sleep waits for no man."

  "That doesn't even make sense," Jeongin grumbled as the bell rang. It was too loud. Much much too loud for his brain that has grown so accustomed to listening instead of watching. It was always that way, but he just shook it off and allowed Jisung to take his hand in his own.

  "Did you do the reading?" Jisung asked him as they walked towards their literature class. He stuck close to him so he could lead him the best he could manage.

  "I had to listen to the audiobook on two times speed, but I got there."

  "I should do that. That sounds so convenient," Jisung said.

  Jisung led him all the way into the classroom and placed Jeongin's hand on a black shape he knew to be his chair. He sat down and watched as Jisung's scarlet mass sat down beside him.

  AP literature didn't seem like a good class for someone who couldn't read. However, AP literature analysis was all books Jeongin could listen to, and he could participate in all discussions and get his grades from speaking with his teacher about things. The essay requirement was handwaved when possible, or Jeongin just used speech-to-text and did his absolute best. It was the easiest class, really, because resources were so plentiful. Jeongin loved literature.

  Frustrated with their lack of reading, the teacher made it a work day so they could all get ahead in the assignment. Jeongin played his audiobook and smiled lightly as he stared at the book that was open in front of him. Having it there became a ritual for him, even though he couldn't read it - it meant he was listening to the book and paying attention, and every time he fumbled and turned a page, Jisung snorted with laughter.   
  "Psst!"

  Jeongin turned around, hearing the sound from somewhere behind him. A bright chartreuse shape. "Hyunjin?"

  "Hi!" Hyunjin said back. "I'm bored." He sounded whiny, but it a kind of adorable way.

  Jeongin snorted. "So what?"

  Jisung elbowed him in the side. "He's pouting now," he whispered.

  Jeongin turned back around and slid his phone slightly towards Jisung. "Rewind it about a minute?"

  Jisung did and Jeongin took his phone back, listening to the audiobook and staring at his book that, honestly, could be upside down and he wouldn't even know it. Being blind is a funny thing.   
  
~~~   
  
  Jeongin didn't walk home alone. More precisely, Jeongin couldn't walk home alone, at least not very well. He could see enough to maybe not get hit by a car and even follow the sidewalk a little bit, but his safety would still be on the line, so Chan lead him.

  Chan was the son of his mother's best friend, and Jeongin's honorary older brother. He was always hanging around him and taking care of him, especially after he lost his vision, and even more so after he entered high school. Jeongin would be lying if he said people didn't bully him for being blind, but he'd also be lying if he said Chan didn't greatly reduce that threat. Jeongin had no clue what he would do once he graduated.

  "What do you think of Hyunjin?" Chan asked, linking arms with him and guiding him on the sidewalk.

  "I don't know. We didn't talk much."

  "Yeah, because you wouldn't talk to him! You're usually so good with new people, what's up with that?"

  "I just don't think we'd have much in common."

  Chan didn't press it as they arrived at Jeongin's house. He said something about needing to do homework and headed home after getting him through the door. Jeongin sighed as he took his shoes off and felt around the wall until his hand wrapped around a cool plastic object. He knew it was a white cane, tipped with red glittery tape - his only way to avoid running into stuff in the confined space of his house (without someone leading him everywhere) that also screamed "weird blind teenager! Don't engage!" He didn't even like calling it a cane - it made him sound old. He dubbed it the magic vision stick.

  He tapped the ground with it methodically as he made his way to his room. He flopped down on his bed and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He reached for a device that was on his end table and fumbled until he plugged it into the headphone jack.

  His braille display was the easiest way to use his phone. He hated the robotic voice that came with the screen reader, and he liked reading braille, anyway. It was a skill most people didn't have, so it made him feel more unique, and not just in the negative way that being blind did.

  He heard his phone vibrate and smiled, running his fingertip over the machine.   
  
[Jisung

   Do your reading assignment]  
  
   He sighed loudly.  
  
[Jeongin

  You too, ugly   
  
Jisung

  r00d]   
  
  Jeongin played his audiobook again and closed his eyes, able to ignore the white blank space of the ceiling, and relaxed to the sound of the narrator's voice. He should have been paying more attention, but he couldn't be bothered at the time.   
  
~~~   
  
  Hyunjin wasn't in any of his classes except for last hour AP Lit and lunch, Jeongin believed. The problem with not being able to see is that people have a very easy time avoiding you, especially if they don't always wear the same sweatshirt, and Jeongin couldn't really rely on Hyunjin wearing bright chartreuse every day. He couldn't find his voice in any of the rooms, anyway, and he figured that was reason enough to believe he only came across him twice in his whole school day.

  That day at lunch, Jeongin notices that Hyunjin was wearing all black, or at least close enough to it that it's all Jeongin could see. He also noticed that he was sitting in the seat that was just left of Jeongin's. Jeongin couldn't help but wonder why Chan gave up his usual spot.

  "Hello there,"Jeongin said as Seungmin let go of his hand and sat down beside him. He looked at Hyunjin in an attempt at specific acknowledgement.

  "Hi!" Hyunjin responded.

   The others just hummed in response, except Jisung, who said "yeet" as if it was an adequate greeting.

  "You have paint on your face," Jisung muttered, mouth sounding extremely full of food. Jeongin wrinkled his nose in disgust.

  Hyunjin laughed lightly. "Oh, yeah, I had art last hour. Put my face too close to the canvas."

  Seungmin snorted. "How do you even do that?"

  Hyunjin didn't respond, at least not verbally, and Jeongin heard him stir in his seat. When he spoke, his voice was directed towards him.

  "Can you get it?" Hyunjin asked him.

  Jeongin felt his face grow warm. "Umm, I, uh. I'm..."

  "No, it's fine, just get it off so I don't look like an idiot," Hyunjin teased.

  "I'm blind."

  Hyunjin laughed. "Of course, you aren't wearing your glasses-"

  "Hyunjin, stop talking," Chan said gently.

  Jeongin sucked in a quick breath. "My vision is effectively useless. I can't see. I mean, I see colors but there are no details and it's just really complicated. I'm blind."

  "Woah, for real?"

  "No, I'm joking," he said, bitterly, but with a smile on his face in an attempt to save his and Hyunjin's dignity.

  "Oh."

  Jeongin's face fell. He could feel Hyunjin's discomfort and expected this to go how most acquaintances of his went - they found out he was blind and walked on eggshells until they managed to separate themselves from him entirely. He already felt Hyunjin drifting.

  If Hyunjin wanted to say anything to him, he didn't. He didn't say anything in literature, either, so Jeongin just looked for the splotch of red to his left, grabbed Jisung's hand, and let himself be led out of the school building. When they finally got there, Jeongin turned around as if he was looking for someone. "Where's Chan?" he asked.

  "Hell if I know. But I can take you home, yeah?"

  Jeongin nodded. His heart was heavy, and he didn't understand why Hyunjin's rejection of him hurt so much. It's not like it was new or unexpected.

  "Jeongin?"

  "Yeah?"

  "What's wrong?"

  Jeongin took in a deep breath and tried not to let it shake as he exhaled. "Hyunjin knows I'm blind."

  "We all know you're blind."

  "Hyunjin just found out that I'm blind. I don't think he wants to talk to me anymore," he said, flatly, stumbling on something on the sidewalk and being steadied by Jisung's steady hand on his forearm. Jisung let go for a second to readjust his grip and Jeongin instantly began shaking with panic.

  Jeongin's freshman year, Jisung had been walking him home for the first time. He told Jeongin he was bending down to tie his shoe. He had stood still while he waited for Jisung to grab his hand again.

  "Look!" Jisung had yelled.

  Jisung was wearing gray that day, and it was cloudy and dismal outside. He chased after a squirrel and Jeongin panicked, his hands feeling empty, and he sat on the ground while looking at the grey haze around him, tears welling up in his eyes. Jisung had apologised profusely, and he still felt bad every time he left Jeongin even for a second.

  "Sorry," he mumbled. "Hyunjin doesn't deserve any of your thoughts if he's going to ignore you. He's just so good-looking and he's upset you won't fawn over him for it."

  "That's harsh," Jeongin mumbled. "But thanks, Jisung."

  "JISUNG, IF YOU LOSE MY CHILD, I WILL PERSONALLY EXFOLIATE YOUR SKIN WITH A CHEESE GRATER."

  The voice was distinctly Chan's, extremely loud, and coming closer very quickly. Soon, Jeongin heard his heavy breathing in his ear and felt Chan stealing his right hand from Jisung.

  "He was fine, Chan."

  "I don't trust you with my son," Chan retorted, leading Jeongin forwards.

  All three of them laughed all the way to Jeongin's house. Chan entered with him so he could help Jeongin to his room and then left.

  Left alone to remember Hyunjin's newfound close-mindedness, Jeongin tried desperately to fall asleep.   
  
~~~   
  
  The next day at school was a Monday, and Jeongin had spent the whole weekend stewing in thought about Hyunjin for reasons he couldn't place. Lunch only proved his suspicions when Hyunjin sat across from him and didn't once speak directly to him. Jeongin wished he could read his expression without having to ask to trace all of his features with his hands.

   Things only got worse when he realized Jisung wasn't at lunch. "Where's Jisung?" Jeongin asked Seungmin.

  "No clue."

  Jeongin furrowed his eyebrows up in worry.

  "I'll come get you after seventh hour is over, yeah? Just stay put and I'll come get you," Seungmin said nonchalantly, and Jeongin grinned.

  However, Jeongin spotted a familiar red shape beside him at his table during literature. Jeongin was thankful. Jisung, despite never shutting up and generally being unstable, made him feel safer while sitting in the front of the class and trying to succeed in a reading class when he was incapable of reading. Jeongin depended on his friends to protect him.

  Jisung didn't speak the entire class period, or even complain when they were told about writing an essay on the book they have yet to finish, which seemed strange to Jeongin. He figured he just wasn't feeling well.

  The bell rang, and Jeongin packed his stuff up carefully and reached for the red mass, finding his hand.

  The hand was higher up than anticipated, and had an unfamiliar texture patched across the flesh Jeongin could only describe as dried paint. His hand was too large, too strange, too unlike Jisung's.

  "You aren't Jisung," he said, glaring at the red mass.

  "He let me borrow his sweatshirt, and I figured I would also borrow his responsibility," he said.

  "So that's what I am? A responsibility?"

  Hyunjin took in a deep breath. "Jeongin, no. Chan talked to me, and I just feel really bad for what I did. I panicked when you told me you were blind and I shouldn't have."

   Jeongin waited before responding. "I understand. You really don't have to be friends with me if you don't want to, Hyunjin. Don't pity me."

  Hyunjin reached out for his hand again, and Jeongin took it. He lead him down the hallway, staying much too far away for comfort. Jeongin drew himself closer and Hyunjin seemed to get the hint, keeping him against his side.

  "It isn't like that. I think you're really... I want to be friends with you."

  "Why?"

  Hyunjin seemed to be at a loss for words. "Why not?"

  "I don't know if you've noticed, but you're an artist and a dancer and super likable and, as Jisung told me, very good-looking."

  "Thank you?"

  "I'm not finished. And I can't see art or dancing, and I need people to hold my hand everywhere so I don't trip or get hit by a car. I can't think of one reason why you would want to hang out with me."

  "You're adorable," Hyunjin reasoned, opening the door out of the school for Jeongin.

  He felt his face grow warm and tried to find any trace of sarcasm in the bright red figure of Jisu- Hyunjin. Obviously, he gleaned nothing. "That's not a good reason."

  "I'll do my best to give you a good reason."

  Jeongin was quiet for a second. "...well?"

  "Not right now! You gotta let me think."

  "You aren't being very convincing."

  "Jeongin! Jisung!"

  Jeongin recognized Seungmin's voice instantly and turned so he could hear him better. "Seungmin! I completely forgot you were supposed to come get me, I-"

  "Never do that again!" Seungmin said, poking him harshly in the shoulder. "I didn't know he was gonna take you! You could have died!"

  "I'm not completely defenseless," Jeongin muttered.

   "You aren't Jisung," Seungmin said to Hyunjin.

  "Nope."

  "Please take off the sweatshirt," Jeongin said, pulling on the sleeve.

  "Why-"

  "Take it off and I'll tell you."

  Hyunjin did and then grabbed his hand again. They walked outside. "So, why?"

  "Jisung always wears that sweatshirt so I can recognize him. I was kinda scared when it wasn't him in it, honestly."

  "I'm sorry. I had no idea, I just thought-"

  "It's okay. I just really don't like not being able to recognize people. Seungmin always pokes me so I know it's him, and Chan has a really recognizable voice, and Jisung wears that sweatshirt," he explained.

  "Should I have a thing?" Hyunjin asked. "Also, I have no clue where we're going."

  "I do, it's fine. And you don't get one until you tell me why we should be friends."

  "Harsh."

  "What street are we on?" Jeongin asked.

   "Eighteenth."

   "One more. And you were kinda mean to me first."

   "I concede the point."

   Jeongin pulled his key from his sweatshirt pocket and handed it to Hyunjin, who unlocked the door. "You can come in, if you want," Jeongin said.

  Hyunjin walked in with him and Jeongin instinctually fumbled for his magic vision stick. "Oh, jeez," he muttered, not finding it in the usual spot.

  "Here," Hyunjin said, placing the cane in his hand, and Jeongin blushed. He hit him lightly with it on what he presumed was his shoulder and made his way to his bedroom, Hyunjin following him closely.

  Jeongin could tell Hyunjin was examining his room, but he couldn't really care less. He wanted to plug in his braille display, but he already felt like the being blind thing was throwing Hyunjin off a lot. He didn't want to add any more weird things into the equation.

  "Did you really not know I was blind?" Jeongin asked, flopping down on his bed. He felt Hyunjin do the same.

  "Nah."

  "Well, I'm blind."

  "How blind?"

  Jeongin held his hand up in front of his face, looking at the fuzzy beige shape. "This is just a blob of color. Everything is a blob of color. If they're too similar, they all blend together."

  "Do you know what people look like?"

  His tone wasn't judgemental at all, just curious, so Jeongin figured he would humor him. "I've felt all my friend's faces."

  "Can you describe them to me? Just wondering."

  "Jisung has super round eyes, and this heart-shaped smile. And his cheeks are squishy."

  "Mmhmm."

  "Seungmin has squishy cheeks, too, and a defined Cupid's bow. And his face feels... angry."

  Hyunjin giggles, soft and melodic.

  "Chan has a big nose and big lips. That's basically it."

  "That's all pretty accurate."

  "I like to think so."

  "Do you want to feel my face?" Hyunjin asked.

  Jeongin froze. "I mean, I don't have to. Most people think it's weird."

  Hyunjin stirred as he sat up. "It isn't. I want you to."

  Jeongin sat up and laughed nervously. Hyunjin sat still for a bit before he grabbed Jeongin's right hand and put it on his cheek. Jeongin held his face gently in both of his hands.

  His skin was soft, impossibly so, and very squishy. He delicately ran his fingers  up the soft curve of his cheekbones to his short eyebrows, and all the way up to his hairline. He worked his way back down. "Close your eyes unless you want to be blind, too," he advised quietly.

  Jeongin ran his fingers over his eyelids, feeling narrow eyes, almost like a cat's. His nose's slope was impossibly soft but straight. Soon, Jeongin's fingertips graced Hyunjin's lips. They were thick, just as squishy as the rest of his face, and Jeongin could feel that the ends were turned up in a smile.

  "Squishy," he said with a nod.

  "What?"

  "Nothing. Umm."

  He returned his hands to his lap and Hyunjin laughed. "So, Jeongin, do you know what you look like?"

  "I kinda remember what I looked like when I was twelve."

  "Well, can't you feel your own face?"

  "It's different. I can't visualize off of that very well. Too personal. It confuses me."

  "Interesting."

  "Not really."

  Hyunjin hummed in mild disapproval as he laid back down on the bed. Jeongin did the same.

  "Do you have a reason we should be friends?" Jeongin asked after a few minutes.

  He listened for Hyunjin's response, but only heard his incredibly steady, deep breathing.

  Jeongin shook his head and exhaled in exasperation. He closed his eyes and did his best to fall asleep too, but his heart wouldn't stop hammering.

  He hadn't been laying there for twenty minutes when Hyunjin sat up quickly. Jeongin followed, trying to figure out what was going on. "I'm so sorry," Hyunjin mumbled. He had stood and was loudly pacing.

  "It's okay."

  "No, I, uh, I have to go. But I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

  Jeongin nodded, not trusting his voice and vaguely observed as Hyunjin's form left the room and only fell down again on his bed when the door closed.   
  
~~~   
  
  At lunch, Hyunjin arrived late, black sweatshirt clearly covered in a massive amount of vibrant purple paint. He sat down next to Jeongin and sighed loudly. His presence made him comfortable but he felt his heart jolt very uncomfortably in his chest.

  "Bad day?" Jeongin asked.

  Hyunjin groaned. "Changbin scared me and made me dump paint all over myself. And my piece. So now it's kind of ruined."

  Chan clicked his tongue. "Changbin. I'll have a word with him."

  Hyunjin laughed. Jeongin would never get over his laugh. Even as they all joked for the rest of lunch and he laughed and he was so close that Jeongin could feel the vibrations through the table and the contact of Hyunjin's shoulder against his. He didn't know why it made his heart clench so dramatically but he was grateful when he was able to leave to go to class.

  Literature class didn't cease to be his favorite class just because of Hyunjin's overwhelming presence. Though, as he sat, typing out a plan for his essay, that may have changed.

  He felt a piece of paper hit the back of his head along with several loud snickers. He tried not to think about it, but naturally it didn't work. Jeongin never had to wonder what people disliked him for, though.   
  He watched as Jisung stirred, and heard him pick up the paper. "What does it say?" he asked quietly.

  "...it doesn't matter."

  Jisung's voice sounded clenched and forced. Whatever it was, it must be bad, because Jisung was usually able to brush them off with a silly comeback. Jeongin could even fathom what it could say.

  "You aren't protecting me by not telling me," he urged him. "If I wasn't blind I would already know."

  Jisung stirred in his chair, crumpling the piece of paper. "It's just a slur. One slur. And I'm not saying what it is."

  Jeongin sighed. "I already told you I don't get offended when people tell me I'm stupid for not being able to read."

  "No. It's the F slur. The one we don't say." Jisung lobbed the paper towards the trash can.

  Jeongin's throat dried. He almost felt tears prick his eyes, but swallowed hard, clenching his fists.

  Jeongin walked the halls holding hands with his male friends out of necessity, relied on them out if necessity, and if it came to actually liking boys... it's not like he could see them, so it wasn't the easiest thing to figure out. He had only been teased for needing to be led places, never something like that.

  "Hey!" he heard from behind him. "Maybe don't?"

  Hyunjin's voice was sweet, but laced with bitter intentions. The group who had thrown the paper just laughed and scoffed, but it quickly died down as the teacher shushed them.

  Jeongin didn't feel any better.

  He didn't feel better when Jisung took his hand to lead him out of the classroom. He pulled his hand back defensively.

  "Jeongin."

  Jeongin turned his head towards the ground. He felt a semi familiar hand grab his, still patched with dry acrylic, and choked down even more tears.

  "I'll walk him home, yeah?"

  Jisung presumably nodded as he walked away. "That is okay, right?" Hyunjin asked.

  "Yeah."

  The slur was whispered again, from somewhere in the room, and Jeongin did his best not to respond. He heard the whispering grow silent suddenly as they left.

  "What?"

  "I winked at one of them," he said matter-of-factly, leading Jeongin down the hall.

  "Your solution for dealing with that was sending them into gay panic?"

  Hyunjin laughed, the sound alleviating some of Jeongin's worries. "It worked, didn't it?"

  Jeongin laughed, too.

  "Seriously, are you doing okay?" Hyunjin asked.

  "Yeah," he lied.

  Hyunjin squeezed his hand.

  "Well, no. I don't know. I just... that kind of stuff doesn't happen to me very often. I don't really know what to do about it."

  "At my old school, stuff like that happened all the time," he said softly.

  "You were bullied for being blind?"

  "Obviously not. I was bullied for being on dance team, which was all girls. I was a cheerleader. I like to draw. People called me... ya know."   
  "Oh."

  Hyunjin laughed, more awkwardly, and it made Jeongin's heart tense.

  "But, I. Uh. I actually am gay. So I guess it's different."

  Jeongin nodded.

  He didn't know whether or not to be surprised, so he decided not to be.

  "That's cool," he said, trying to console Hyunjin. He didn't even notice they were outside until he registered felt the cold air on his face. "That you're gay. I mean. It's cool."

  "Hah, well, thank you."

  "I'm just trying to say I'm not gonna stop being friends with you or something!"

  "So we are friends!"

  Jeongin cursed himself silently. "Fine! We're friends. But if you don't give me a reason by the end of the month, we are not being friends anymore."

  "Deal!" Hyunjin exclaimed happily. He ran his thumb along the back of Jeongin's hand and it felt... different.

  Jeongin couldn't bring himself to dislike it.   
  
~~~   
  
  Lunch was Jeongin's safe haven, and it always had been. He talked to his friends and, even with Hyunjin's stressful presence, he managed to relax. Of course, all good things will come to an end.

  "Jeongin?"

  "Uh huh?"

  "Some girl gave me this note and said it was for you? Should I read it?" Chan asked.

  "Ooo, someone's confessing!" Hyunjin teased.

  Jeongin found himself completely indifferent. He shrugged.

  Chan cleared his throat dramatically. "Hey, Jeongin! I just wanted to let you know that you're a f-"

  Chan choked. He stood up quickly, his chair hitting the ground with a loud clang.

  Jeongin reached blindly for the piece of paper, eventually finding it and crumpling it in his hand. He grabbed Chan's hand and attempted to pull him back into his seat. The room had gone silent.

  "What's wrong with all of you?" Chan asked, loudly enough that everyone could hear, his voice still breaking, and rushed from the room with loud footsteps. Jeongin stood to follow him, but immediately realized how terrible of an idea that was. He heard more footsteps and felt a hand on his sleeve. A bright chartreuse form led him in the same direction Chan had gone.

  Jeongin didn't realize there were tears in his eyes until he had to wipe them away.

  Hyunjin shushed him quietly once they reached where ever they were. It smelled like wet dirt.

  "Where are we?" he asked, struggling to steady his voice.

  "The art room?" Hyunjin said nervously. "I spend a lot of time here. It's just the first place I thought to come." 

 "Yeah. I. Uh. I love art," Jeongin joked lightly.

  Hyunjin laughed. It was melodic. Jeongin was reminded of the note. Notes.

  "I'm sorry," Hyunjin said.

  "About the art room? No, really, it's fine-"

  "About the notes."

  "It isn't your fault," Jeongin said. He noticed Hyunjin's touch had moved from his arm to his hand. He squeezed his paint-covered hand in comfort.

  "I don't know about that," Hyunjin said shakily.   
  Jeongin looked up at his face and it was very close. More noticeably, he saw a big pink streak across the mass of his skin tone. He reached up to touch it and felt a mass of still wet paint.

  "Oh, jeez," Hyunjin exclaimed, evidently seeing the paint on Jeongin's hand as he pulled away. He walked off, presumably to wash it off. Jeongin heard water running and soon Hyunjin returned.

  They stayed there until it was time for class. He heard whispers during literature, the same one again and again. People probably believed he was deaf, too, with how careless they were around him. He tried not to let more hot tears spill from his eyes. He tried not to think about Hyunjin's concern inevitably making him feel like he should be apologizing for making him worry.

  Jeongin was overwhelmed with the wish to hold Hyunjin's hand and walk home. He got to do just that.

  They didn't talk much until they got outside Jeongin's house. "Can I come in?" Hyunjin asked.

  "Yeah," Jeongin said. They both removed their shoes and Hyunjin lead him to his own room.

  Jeongin choked as he felt Hyunjin's front pressed against his back as they fell down on the mattress. Hyunjin draped himself lazily around Jeongin. His heart beat so loud he could hear the blood rushing in his ears.

  "Hyunjin?"

  "Can we sleep?"

  “Uh. Like this?" Jeongin asked. His stutter gave away his clearly flustered state.

  "Mmhmm," Hyunjin hummed, pushing his face into Jeongin's neck.

  "Okay."

  Jeongin's heart was beating so hard, and Hyunjin's face felt different pressed against his skin. He felt beautiful. And Jeongin felt like he very much would like to kiss him, which wouldn't bother him, but he remembered the notes and the harsh whispers pressing against his eardrums. He noticed the urge to shove Hyunjin away from him, to push away the source of the bullying, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Hyunjin was warm and his breathing was steady.

  He reveled in the sound, in the peaceful silence, in the electricity he felt crawling to his heart from where Hyunjin's hand was resting against his forearm.

  “Innie?”

  He hummed in recognition as Hyunjin stirred.

  “I'm really sorry about what happened.”

  “It's okay,” he said softly.

  Hyunjin's voice was tired and sweet. “One of them… went to my middle school. He bullied me when I was there.”

  “I'm sorry about that, Hyunjin.”

  “‘s okay. I didn't want to watch you go through that, though. It's really all my fault.”

  “It’s not. It's their fault for being mean, right?” Jeongin asked, keeping his voice so quiet Hyunjin wouldn't have been able to hear him if he wasn't millimeters away.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, Hyunjin. Now sleep.”

  Jeongin could have sworn he felt a soft kiss against the side of his neck, but he could have imagined it. When he woke up, Hyunjin was gone already.

 

~~~

 

  It was only Thursday. Even as he arrived at lunch, Jeongin wished the day was over. Even as Hyunjin lazily draped an arm of his shoulder in ridiculous affection, he groaned in exhaustion.

  “Did anything happen?” Hyunjin asked, voice full of concern.

  “I'm primed to kill someone,” Chan said through gritted teeth, hitting his fork loudly against his lunch tray.

  “Not necessary,” Jeongin said. “I'm just tired.”

  “You sure?” Jisung asked.

  “Yes.”

  “I will hurt someone, Jeonginnie,” Seungmin interjected.

  “Really, it's fine,” he assured them. “Calm down.”

  “Impossible,” Chan fumed.

  Jeongin rolled his eyes as he continued eating.

  “Also,” Seungmin said. “I have work to do for yearbook after school today.”

  “And I have detention,” Jisung said proudly.

  “What did you do?” Chan said, using his voice that showed he was preparing a major scolding.

  “I broke a desk in half!”

  “How?” Jeongin wondered.

  “Long story.”

  Chan sighed. “I have to tutor this kid after school.”

  “I have dance practice,” Hyunjin said, finally.

  Jeongin waited for more words but none came. “Oh, are you really gonna make me stay here and wait for one of you to take me home?”

  It was silent before Jisung responded. “Yep!”

 Jeongin groaned once again. “What am I supposed to do?”

  “You should come to dance practice! The music is really good,” Hyunjin advised.

  Jeongin agreed much too quickly.

  The whispers came again in literature, and Jeongin did his best to pretend he didn't notice them as Hyunjin lead him to a seat in the gym bleachers. He left, presumably to get ready for practice, and Jeongin sat back and stared at the white mass of the ceiling.

  When Hyunjin returned, Jeongin noted he was wearing chartreuse again. He was down on the gym floor with the other members of the guys’ dance team. Jeongin knew a few off the top of his head, and hearing their excited voices helped considerably.

  He heard Lee Minho, Jisung's not-so-secret boyfriend, a senior who had been sassy and yet kind to Jeongin in the time they had known each other. He also recognized the deep voice of Lee Felix, a boy from Australia who was somewhat close to every one of Jeongin's friends. There were a few others, like Ji Changmin and Kim Sunghyun, that he wasn't as familiar with, but he was still proud of his ability to recognize their voices.

  After a long while of stretching, the music began.

  Hyunjin didn't lie about the music. It was good, and the satisfying sound of their simultaneous footsteps on the wood floor was enough to make Jeongin happy he went. It was much better than sitting through a tutoring session he didn't need.

   The song had been replayed a few times before he heard them talking.

  “Hey, Jeongin!” Felix yelled. “Didn't see you there!”

  “Didn't see you either, Felix!” he joked back. Felix laughed.

  “Hi, Jeonginnie!” Minho said, projecting his voice so much that it echoed.

  He waved back. Jeongin heard the yelling go to hushed whispers and did his best to overhear. Eavesdropping was the best part of his mildly heightened hearing.

  “What is he… blind… Hyunjin? No one wants… ridiculous… pathetic.”

  Jeongin heard a loud scoff and his stomach dropped.

  “What are you saying, Sunghyun?” Hyunjin said, voice growing.

  “I'm saying that you and you  _ boyfriend  _ are a couple of-”

  “I dare you,” Minho spit. “Say it.”

  Jeongin did his best to block out the inevitable slur that fell from Sunghyun's lips. He reached for his bag quickly, hurriedly unzipping it and finding his other white cane, a collapsible one he kept for emergencies. He put his hand through the wrist strap out of habit and extended it, standing quickly as he heard the sound of a fist meet a jaw.

  There were cries, several of them, and Hyunjin's chartreuse form was hurriedly approaching as Jeongin made his way down the stairs, glad no one was watching his struggles. There was a cry from Hyunjin, very distinctly, and then a loud one from Sunghyun and a few words of English swearing from Felix.

  He only quickly approached Hyunjin's fallen mass when the noises all but stopped. He collapsed on the ground next to him and reached a hand out to touch him. Jeongin had found his bicep and moved his hand up to touch his face. It was wet with blood.

  “Sunghyun, you're off the team. Get out of here,” a distinct, adult voice said.

  Felix, who Jeongin now realized had Sunghyun pinned to the ground, stood up and Sunghyun's form retreated. Hyunjin sat up.

  Jeongin ran his fingers along Hyunjin's lip, soft and squishy and bleeding.

  “Ow.”

  “Your own fault,” Jeongin said through a sob.

  “Don't cry.”

  “No.”

  Jeongin wiped his face with the sleeve on his right arm, not removing his left hand from Hyunjin's face. “Did you _punch_ _him_?”

   “I actually slapped him first. Much less intense,” Hyunjin defended.       

  “Idiot. He wasn't going to hurt anyone.”

  “He called you-”

  “I know.”

  Most of the members of the dance team had left. Jeongin watched as a bright red form emerged from the white mass that was the surrounding area. “Minho!” Jisung exclaimed.

  “Jisung?” Minho asked.

  “Changmin told me what happened! He punched you? Oh my God-”

  Jisung continued to worry over Minho.

  “I didn't want him to say those things about you,” Hyunjin said plainly.

  Jeongin hugged him suddenly, burying his face in the brightly colored sweatshirt. “Hyunjin, I can't believe you.”

  “Me neither.”

  “I want to go home.”

  Hyunjin stood first and Jeongin let himself be helped up. He gripped Hyunjin's hand tightly and readjusted his grip on the magic vision stick. “I can lead you,” Hyunjin said.

  “I don't trust your judgement right now,” Jeongin said, tapping it strategically on the ground as he exited the gym.

  “Are you really mad?” Hyunjin asked.

  “Of course not,” he said after thinking for a minute. “Can you tell me what happened, though?”

  “I thought Sunghyun was cool. But he called you pathetic and then he called you…  _ that _ and I just. I slapped him?”

  “And then?”

  “He punched me, so I swung at him and then Minho was pulling me away and Minho kicked him, like  _ wha-pow _ , and then Sunghyun managed to punch Minho too but then Felix socked him in the stomach and jumped on him, like  _ woosh, _ and-”

  Jeongin laughed and Hyunjin stopped. He laughed too. It was the most melodic and relieving of all of his laughs Jeongin had heard so far, and it brought a strange blush to his cheeks. He brought Hyunjin closer to him as he opened the door and they walked out into the cool evening air.

  They walked for a bit in silence, the only sound being Jeongin's cane hitting the sidewalk.

  “Why did you defend me like that?” Jeongin asked.

  “I… well, we're friends, right? I couldn't let him get away with doing that to you. I know it bothers you.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You better say that again when I inevitably get a detention for doing it.”

  “Hah! Well, maybe I will.”

  They arrived at Jeongin's house and Hyunjin helped him inside. “I really should go,” Hyunjin said. “I have something I need to work on.”

  Jeongin felt disappointment wash over him. “At least let me fix your face first.”

  “Okay.”

  Jeongin led him to the bathroom and opened a cabinet, grabbing for a washcloth. He wet it and pushed Hyunjin to sit on the toilet seat.

  He moved his hand from Hyunjin's shoulder to his neck, which was solid and strong. Jeongin probably imagined how it was quivering. He found Hyunjin's jawline and then his lips, caked with dried blood. Hyunjin drew in a sharp breath _. _

  “Sorry,” Jeongin mumbled.

  “'s okay.”

  Jeongin pressed the washcloth against Hyunjin's face until he couldn't feel any more blood with his fingertips. “Get the Neosporin from the cabinet. You'll have to put it on yourself.”

  Hyunjin did, and Jeongin stared blankly at his brightly colored shape until he was done. “What are you looking at?”

  “You’d know better than I do,” he said, but his tone was surprisingly soft.

  Hyunjin put the medicine back and presumably found a bandage and put it on the injury. Jeongin stood and touched Hyunjin's lower lip to check his work. He nodded in satisfaction.

  “I really have to go now,” Hyunjin said.

  “Why?”

  Hyunjin shifted from foot to foot. “I have a project I'm working on. It's important.”

  “Oh.”

  Jeongin was reminded: Hyunjin is the art kid. He is blind. Whatever strange hope was bubbling from Hyunjin getting punched for him was shattered.

  “I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Goodbye, Jeonginnie!”

  Hyunjin left, closing the door to the house softly behind him.

  Mayhaps Jeongin cried. It might've been from the names, from the fact that Hyunjin made him feel  _ things _ , from Hyunjin definitely knowing they had nothing in common. Either way, he may have sobbed into his pillow and slammed his eyes shut so he could get enough sleep to make the next day even a little bit tolerable.

 

~~~

 

  Lunch came, and Jeongin was shocked to find that Hyunjin's familiar voice wasn't present in the room. He elbowed Jisung, who was sitting beside him instead of Hyunjin. “Jisung.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Is Hyunjin not here? Or is he ignoring me?”

  “He's not here,” Jisung responded. “Did he say he would be here? After yesterday, I thought-”

  “He's here today,” Minho, the newest addition to their table, interjected. “I saw him this morning.”

_ He's ignoring me. Great. _

  Jeongin pouted for the rest of lunch, only lifting his head when Chan asked about it towards the end of the hour. “I know about the fight, but did something else happen?”

  “No, it's fine.”

  “Did Hyunjin do something?” Chan asked. Concern laced his voice.

  Jeongin shook his head. “No. Really. It's fine.”

  He worried until last hour. Hyunjin was sitting in his seat, dressed in a clearly paint-splattered white shirt. Jeongin sat in his seat and quickly put his headphones in to listen to his audiobook as he typed his essay. He tried his best not to think about Hyunjin and his busted lip and his paint and his perfect laugh. The perfect laugh he wanted inches away from his face. The things he could never have.

  Class ended in a haze and Jeongin put his headphones and his computer away in his backpack. He turned and saw Jisung's crimson form retreating from the room, and turned to see Hyunjin again. His heart simultaneously fell and soared.

  Hyunjin put his hand, caked with dry paint, on top of Jeongin's.

  “Hey, are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” Jeongin said, finding himself smiling.

  “I have something to show you,” Hyunjin said as he led him from the room. They turned left instead of right as they exited and Jeongin just revelled in Hyunjin's presence. He had missed him.

  The room they entered smelled like wet dirt and acrylic. Jeongin saw splashes of colors along the walls and thought that maybe he actually did enjoy art, at least a little. Even if it was just for the small things he could see and the smells.

  Hyunjin walked with him towards the back of the room. He took Jeongin's right hand and placed it on an object made of semi-dry clay.

  “What is this?” Jeongin asked.

  “You'll figure it out,” Hyunjin said happily.

  Jeongin felt across the top of the sculpture, noticing a distinct hair texture. He felt a shape that can only be described as the shell of an ear. He traced over the detailed shape. His hand continued along a sharp jawline and he moved his hand up the cheekbone of the bust. He felt the forehead and defined eyebrows, the eyes stretched into a distinct smile. The nose had a unique shape that was strangely familiar.. He moved his fingers t through the grooves of the smile lines and landed on a smile, wide and strong, teeth adorned with braces.

  “Is this-”

  “I'm sorry if you think it's creepy. I just. I thought you… you thought you didn't like art. And you said you didn't know what you looked like?”

  “You sculpted me?” Jeongin asked, hands still feeling the sculpture. It was impeccable.

  “Yeah. I had to get help from a lot of your friends to make sure I was doing a good job, but. I think it looks pretty-”

  Jeongin tackled Hyunjin in a messy hug, limbs not exactly landing where he was hoping they would, but he eventually tightly clung onto his neck (which was not at all easy to reach) and smiled as he hugged back.

  “I love it,” Jeongin whispered. He separated so Hyunjin could hear him better. “Is this what you've been working on?”

  “Yeah. I was here all morning trying to finish it so show it to you.”

  Jeongin thanked the powers that be that Hyunjin hadn't been abandoning him, just working on a sculpture of him. It was the best news he had ever received.

  “Thank you.”

  “Also,” Hyunjin added. Jeongin noticed his voice was tinged with anxiety. “Here.”

  Hyunjin grabbed his right hand awkwardly and lead him to the backside of the sculpture. Hyunjin placed his hand on it gingerly, and Jeongin felt around the immaculate hair texture until he found a collection of dots.

_ Braille. _

  He moved his hand to the end of the dots and ran his fingertips over the raised surface. He read carefully, slowly, taking in each letter with certainty before moving on.

_ I. _

  1. _I. K. E._
  2. _O. U._



__ Jeongin's heart was officially in pieces on the ground, shattered from excitement, from hopes came true, but he suspended any panicking that may have occurred.

  Hyunjin stepped towards him. “I was going to write ‘I don't know if you're into me or into guys at all, but you're really cute so will you go out with me?’ but that was too long,” he explained. His voice cracked several times through the sentence.

  Jeongin's smile spread quickly and widely across his face. “Is this your way out of explaining why we should be friends?”

  “Maybe,” Hyunjin said, adding a song-like laugh between the syllables. 

  “And this isn't a joke or something?”

  “Never in a million years.”

  “I like you too, Hwang Hyunjin.”

  Hyunjin squealed in excitement. He, a much-too-tall teenage boy,  _ squealed _ . Jeongin burst into laughter and let Hyunjin embrace him.

  “So, are we dating now?” Hyunjin asked.

  “I would hope so.”

  “Can I kiss you?”

  Jeongin turned his head towards Hyunjin and nodded, however much he was shaking from overwhelming anxiety completely ignored.

  Jeongin felt Hyunjin's squishy lips against his and marveled in the feeling.

  Hyunjin separated from him and Jeongin could tell he was staring.

  “You taste like paint.”

 

~~~

 

  “Jeongin! I love you!”

  The voice was loud and recognisable over the din of applause after the song ended, Jeongin still holding on to the last note of his solo. He smiled widely when the last chord on the piano was played and knew Hyunjin was standing in the front row, wearing chartreuse, yelling and beaming bright enough that Jeongin could almost see it.

  The choir filed off the stage and Jeongin joined them last, allowing a senior named Woojin to lead him off the stage safely. As soon as he exited the auditorium, he was met with a bright yellow form wrapped around his body. “You did so well, Jeongin! You didn't tell me they gave you the final solo,” Hyunjin enthused.

  “It was a surprise,” Jeongin said as Hyunjin pressed several kisses to his face.

  Hyunjin pulled him out of the crowd exiting through the narrow doorway and handed him a crinkly plastic parcel. Flowers.

  “They're beautiful,” Jeongin said, squinting at the red shape.

  Hyunjin laughed. “It's a custom, you know?”

  “Thank you,” Jeongin said, lifting them to his face. They smelled slightly of acrylic paint, just like Hyunjin did, and it brought an even wider grin to Jeongin's face.

  He tucked them under his arm as Hyunjin grabbed his hand to lead him out of the school building. The cold air hit Jeongin and he shivered. Hyunjin gripped his hand tighter and pulled him towards his car.

  Hyunjin tripped and nearly fell while he made his way to the driver's side.

  “You sure you don't want me to drive?” Jeongin joked.

  “I love you, but no.”

  It's not like Jeongin had never heard it before, but it had always been with that semi-joking tone.

  “I love you, too,” he said sincerely, voice dripping with affection that could have rotted a hole through someone's tooth if they had been listening. Jeongin's orthodontist would definitely have something to say about that.

  Hyunjin dropped the keys with a loud jangle and then thumped around in order to find them. “You scared me, Innie,” he mumbled.

  Jeongin smiled as he heard Hyunjin's laugh - soft, melodic.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I actually ship Hyunmin more than Hyunin but here I am writing way too much. What else would I be doing with my time?


End file.
